Don’t try to be a perfect mom ??‍♀️

Every mother has felt like she’s a total failure at some point in her life—probably at countless points in her life. The pressure to be all things to all people is overwhelming, as is the feeling of guilt that you’re constantly letting someone down: your kids, your significant other, your fellow moms, your boss, yourself.

Dear Mom,

Let me first start by saying this:

There are no perfect moms.

You know that vision you have in your head of the perfect mom, (perhaps that vision is a real Facebook mom) who never has bad days, always has perfect hair, she is calm, patient, organized. She makes crafts, cooks healthy homemade meals every day, she’s popular, and makes time for yoga too.

Let me fill you in on a secret.

That person above, this fictitious perfect mom you’ve been killing yourself trying to be, she doesn’t exist.

So let’s all just relax for a minute, open the curtains and let a little honesty in.

Two words that don’t belong together are perfect and motherhood.

Two words that do belong together:

Motherhood and hot-mess.

Even though you are likely aware of all this, and chuckle at your own unrealistic expectations of yourself, in the darkest crevices of your mind, perhaps you still hear that little, nagging voice, whispering your greatest fear – that you aren’t being good enough mother to your kids.

I hear that voice almost

It’s like a movie reel playing all the mistakes I’ve made? That time I forgot my son’s mitts, or that time the “F” word slipped out at the park. How about that time, maybe even today, you lost your temper and yelled at your kids?

You know this negative self-talk isn’t doing any good, but still, you can’t seem to shake it.

Does this sound familiar?


Why You Feel The Need To Be Perfect
Maybe you browse Facebook and see all these other perfect moms and wonder how they are keeping it all together. When some days you feel like you are walking on a tightrope, dangerously close to wobbling off and crashing to the ground below.

Within minutes of browsing social media, I see healthy freezer meals for every day of the week, cute little owl crafts, matching onesies at Christmas(?!) and Pinterest-worthy themed birthday parties. I feel overwhelmed. Where am I going wrong?

Because the truth is:

My child doesn’t look like a miniature runway model. I can barely get his hair brushed and he often rocks the same pants three days in a row. And while it would be cool to have an Instagram-worthy living room, I can’t pretend there aren’t animal crackers stuffed between my cushions. And oh yes, I’d love to do yoga and drink spiced latte’s every day, but my only form of exercise right now is playing some elaborate game of tag my son invented.
But: You Don’t Need To Be Perfect
What if instead of pretending we have it all together, (because everyone else is pretending too) we post a picture of our kids in the throes of a temper tantrum? Or post our sink full of dishes?

Okay, realistically no one is going to do these things.

But remember, five minutes before the perfect Facebook family snapped that perfect family photo and posted it, this could have been their reality.

No mom has it all together, all of the time. What if we learn to accept our mistakes, accept the messiness and stop panicking at the realization that we aren’t perfect?

There is no handbook for this job, every mom was once a new mom and gradually learned as she went along. Some moms excel at crafts, that’s okay. Some moms are great cooks. That’s amazing. Some moms are great teachers. Fantastic.

What do you bring to the table?

You bring something wonderful, and we can’t all be perfect at everything.

So stand proud in front of the mirror, look at yourself, among the imperfect messiness of life (perhaps even embrace the mom bun), and say, “I’m not perfect, but I’m doing the best I can, my kids are loved and supported and it’s time to tune into what matters most.”

The thing I’ve noticed is that when I don’t pretend, I find my people (the ones who don’t pretend either), real, genuine connection. And to me that is everything.

Do not try to be complete. and we recommend you to watch the movie {Bad Moms}
link the film :

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